I struggle to write this blog post- there is too much to say, yet nothing comes out!
I struggle to find my words to properly write this post- but I am going to try my best.
For you that are familiar with my blog posts and what and who “After Chloe” is and does, this blog post is completely understandable. For you that are new to my blog, then allow me to direct you to my about me page. I want to reassure you that I am good, well as good as you can be after losing what isn’t replaceable. But what I do have is my will to live. I have experienced 7 Mother’s Days without my daughter, yet I am a mom. I think I am a mom, no, I am a mom. These are the thoughts I have experienced, now keep in mind, all while having lost my mom 5 years ago. So what to do for “Mother’s Day”?
The realization is that Mother’s Day won’t ever be the same. The realization is that I have to decide to live my very best life that I can, by my choice. Doing what gives me comfort and strength. I also have come to the realization that Mother’s Day is every day …
So what do you do when you’ve lost a child? A mother? A mother figure?
That’s a big conversation that is different for every single person. But it’s important to decide that you should allow yourself every possibility to find a life after loss. Not just a life but true living after loss!
So restarting the after, how is it done, you may ask?
My answer is very gently and is different for everyone. Now, let’s throw in Mother’s Day, wow what a difficult day. I restart the after daily. I wake up and for a second I will think it was just a bad dream. For a second I will think I need to call my mom or go check on my mom or I will think what would Chloe be doing? So restarting the after becomes a science that only you know the formula for. It’s a lot of self-compassion and patience for your heart.
Just remember even if I gave you a step by step blueprint to restart your after, it will only work if you are ready. I will advise this- only do what you can when you can. But do something. You must make yourself try daily to restart your life, through the guilt, through the sadness and through the pain you have to restart your life.
If you can shower, shower.
If you can drink water, drink water.
If you can eat, eat something.
And so on.
Many of you have children to take care of throughout the processing of your loss. Keep going anyways. Believe that you can take it moment by moment. Don’t measure yourself to anyone, especially me. Often I get – that you think you have to do what I am doing and that isn’t necessary!!! You have to do what is best for you, what will help you! Start there. Ask yourself every morning what is one thing I can do today to restart.
For me, I stopped caring about everything about myself – makeup, nails, hair, perfume jewelry – I stopped doing any of it. Then each day I would try, some days more than others but, oh how I tried. And it’s still a work in progress.
I want to ask you- what is one thing you can do for yourself today?
Even responding to me may help you restart – click here to respond directly to me
Specifically, what to do on Mother’s Day? Only what you want…Only what you can.
I want to offer you a very special gift for Mother’s Day, a free 60 Minute 1 on 1 Consult click here to get your free session (only good for the month of May)!
I hope this helps you through your journey. I am here if you need me!! Click here to email me.
Join my After Chloe’s private Facebook group for support by clicking here
In Love and Grace,