Whenever I wake up, a memory of my parents will pop into my head. I cannot express the intensity of the ache that has been present since the death of my father, then the loss of my daughter obviously intensified the ache and when my mom passed away for a long while the ache grief that I feel became unbearable. The ache isn’t only physical but it’s also a mentality. Yes, a mentality… Allow me to explain.
I have always had a specific perspective about grief and struggle. That perspective was I wouldn’t be able to survive it or be able to function with the loss of anyone I love, or if I lost everything I wouldn’t be able to get back up and not just survive but thrive with that ache aka the grief and struggle. But here is the truth, I sit here as a newly published author, a gal who laughs all day and truly wakes up exited to cease each day that I am gifted with. Are you wondering how? Let me explain this, it’s about perspective and HUGE disclaimer, I am always going to miss my parents and child, I am living with grief, it isn’t something I have a cure for, or that I can present you with a magic wand but what I do have is perspective.
This is what my perspective is, it is my faith in God, it is my belief in myself and it is knowing that the love that remains, carries me through the impossible days, holds me through my many hours that I still cry for my daughter and wanting so badly to hear my mom’s voice say, “It is going to be ok, Mija” or my dad saying, “kid, you are always going to be my baby”.
What perspective does is provide me a coping mechanism, an ability to go forward, to grieve while living. And as I always state there are seasons of life after loss and if you are in certain seasons of your grief journey then it may feel impossible to move forward or to think about having any perspective on losing what you cannot replace. So, l would recommend to ask yourself these 3 questions:
3 Questions on The Perspective of Your Grief
1). Can you change what has happened?
2). Are you trying to go forward?
3). What or who brings you joy?
When you ask yourself these questions, allow yourself to be happy, the grief is with you whether you choose happy or unhappy.
The shift in perspective is, this hard and this simple. The Perspective of “I cannot go on with my life because of the loss” to “I am living my life with the loss.” That shift changed my whole life, and it started with all 3 of those questions. And the willingness to do the work is what is necessary.
I would like to personally invite you to check out new book, Open YOUR G.I.F.T.S. It is on Pre-Sale and if you purchase now you will get a free 60 minute one on one online session with me.
I am sending you infinite amounts of love and grace,