Posted in Self-Sabotage
Truth time. I hesitated to write this blog. Early this morning I received a DM on one of my social media platforms (I get a lot of DMs and I actually respond to every single DM, message myself, so please be patient with me ?) but this DM was actually offensive to one of my family members and later on in the day I spoke to her and she also got an offensive DM. This angered me but also made me sad and protective. Here’s the deal my family is off limits – always – and I don’t want to rant but that’s the beginning and the end of it. But as I thought about how to handle the DM it brought me back to my own grief journey and how avoidance can create chaos and stress. Avoidance of grief nearly destroyed me.
Before I go on, I need to clarify in case there is any confusion – I do this because I was called to. When I lost my parents and my child there weren’t readily available resources and tools. I made a promise to myself, to the honor of my parents and my child by serving others. I’m not wanting a medal or to be recognized – I want whoever comes across AfterChloe or anything that represents AfterChloe to know they can make it through. It’s not about being an expert, it’s about being an example. When there is hate and hurt and that’s conveyed in a disrespectful message – to my family member, it defeats me and I won’t stand for it.
Back to the avoidance…
I believe when we criticize someone else’s pain – it’s our own avoidance of what we don’t want to face. I believe I was so angry and overwhelmed in my grief that I created issues, chaos, and hurt towards everyone and everything because I was avoiding. I was busy being busy because I didn’t want to deal with my grief.
The truth is that avoidance of grief will cause the grief to come out however it can. So that may be physically, emotionally, and spirituality. And the biggest lesson of my avoidance is that I truly lost these past few years – I stopped living. I stopped living a worthy life. I stopped loving myself.
So today I embrace my grief and my feelings as they come. I allow it. I don’t fight it. It is better to get through the moments, the days and the difficulty of grief. Because otherwise you hurting will cause all other areas of your life to hurt.
So if you feel like your avoiding – I have an Ebook for you. Click here to get your Ebook.
I send you love and grace,