The Hardest Part of Grief.
It’s all hard. It’s all impossible. It’s all a blur. I want to run away. I want to go back and I can’t. You can’t.
There is no cure. No fix. No remedy.
What is the hardest part?
The silence of the finality. Finality is deafening. How can you fight it? Or change it? Or try to justify it? You can’t! I can’t. For those of you that know me, my story is that my parents and my baby all died within two years. It devastated me. I died with them, and that too is the hardest part, to search for me who was when they were alive.
I can’t find her, and there isn’t any fixing or finding. She’s gone.
Earlier today, I sat with my cousin’s husband. He, too, has experienced a crazy amount of loss and grief, and I admitted I wanted so badly to not ever deal with all the hardest parts of grief at the early points of my grief journey, but that wasn’t the answer, that wasn’t in alignment with the love that remains. That wasn’t finding my way. And in all transparency, I still haven’t found my way. I instead understand that it is in the hardest part I still struggle with the finality and the inability to find life after them.
So what do we do when we figure out the hardest part of grief?
Why does this matter?
The hardest part of your grief will guide you! The hardest part of your grief will remind you that you can make it through!
The hardest part of your grief will help you to navigate your feelings and to feel those feelings!
And the hardest part of your grief will awaken you.
A lot of times, we don’t budge until we cannot handle the pain any longer!!
How long can you handle the grief? Until it becomes too hard!!
Until it’s too much!!
Exactly! Decide at this very moment, to take your grief and feel it. Handle what you can and leave what you can’t handle!
A day at a time! Measure it. Find out what makes it harder? What makes it bearable?
Choose only to face what you can meet! Be willing not to allow judges or critics to have any when it comes to your grief process! And know while that can feel hard or harsh or both, you must decide that you will do what you have to do to find your way!!
What do you do with the hardest parts of grief? Find out what and why it makes it the hardest part of grief! I know I sound like a broken record, but self-awareness is vital when it comes to grieving loss. Get to know why you feel the way you think. What are the triggers? Why does it trigger you? Where do you go from there? And once you can answer, then decide what’s needed? Is it support? Is it not healthy? Is it both?
Decide with the disclaimer; you can always change your mind! Changes. Is it all changing, and that is what is so hard about the grief? And ask yourself, is it the change? And again, this is not attached so much to the change but to getting into the habit of becoming self-aware.
Once you understand what the hardest part is, face it, feel through it, seek what offers you support, such as:
- Support Group
- A mixture of these
Once you start to face the hardest part, you’ll gain confidence and reassurance that you are healthily meeting your feelings! And this doesn’t mean you aren’t grieving and this also doesn’t mean it will lessen what you feel, what it does mean is that you can articulate your feelings and your sense of ability to know what you can and can’t do at the moment.
I take holidays this way. I take milestones this way, and sometimes I take Tuesday’s this way!
I would love to know how you feel about and deal with the hardest part of grief!
Please feel free to get support by joining my private Facebook Group by clicking here
Get my Grief Ebook by Clicking here
I would love to invite you to schedule a Reignite Your life Call
May you be wondering? What is that? It’s a
A 30-minute call where we reignite your life after loss
On this call, we’re going to go over
Practical ways to be present while honoring your grief.
What to do with all your feelings.
And instantly, how to get self-aware and to function throughout your day!
Be sure to Book your call quick before my calendar books up by clicking here