My grief journey…what a journey. I must admit I didn’t have a large support system I only had a few but today, well proudly, I have a support system!!!! Yes! I can’t express the blessings I have in my support system but that’s not what this blog post is about. Truthfully, this blog post is about finding your support system and what the criteria is for you to recognize who your “people” are.
Now with all due respect!!! The support system you need may not be in your arsenal of people that already reside in your life. Now stay with me!!! We tend to struggle with trying to morph those we love into who we need and truthfully you can’t train someone how to show up for you in your time of need. But what you can do is to decide to show up for yourself by- choosing to surround yourself with yes your loved ones but have a plan for your grief needs!
Yes, a plan…Find a support group. Find those that have a clear respect and understanding of your grief. When you need that support that’s where the plan comes into action and you know where to seek support for your grief journey!
It’s so difficult to struggle with grief much less someone telling you how to grieve or telling you to get over it. And while I could be writing this blog post on how your loved ones to show up, instead I am going to start here- with you. You can’t educate people on what’s the right and the wrong things to say but you can be clear that, it’s what you need, no one absolutely no one has the right to tell you how to feel or how to get over what you are feeling!! Instead, start with finding those who can although not feel exactly what you feel but can be understanding to your feelings!!!!
Start with getting support from either in person groups or online groups. Whatever your preference is, well that’s all up to you!
Start there. Decide that you will create an environment that helps you to honor your loss, to grieve your loss and to honor that loss as it’s happening!
How do I begin? How?
I don’t think this is about beginning, support is just allowing you to feel. Where ever you are in your grief journey, you have to allow yourself to start where you are at. We often believe we are supposed to be or where someone else is! That isn’t true. Start where you are at!! And if no one else starts where you are, that’s their problem! Period- next!!! And what I mean by next is that in anything that you do or feel – it is yours, don’t let anyone decide or dictate how that is!!!
So let’s practice for 2018 for you to take the time and the energy to decide and find your people.
What’s the definition and/or requirement?
To find someone who loves you and helps you to process your grief, that doesn’t tell you what your grief looks of feels like but instead just gives you love and understanding while encouraging you to live a life worth living!!
This week I’ll be discussing all about beginning the new year with loss! In case you haven’t read, catch Monday & Wednesday’s blog posts here Monday & Wednesday. I would love for you to join After Chloe’s Private Facebook Group for added support!
I would love for you to join me for a free 30-minute phone call! Click here to join me!
Love and grace,