Here is the most honest and vulnerable post I’ve ever done…
I spent many years searching for love & happiness – I thought it was a man. For a long time I thought drugs/alcohol was the answer. I tried being a workaholic, gained college degrees and titles, over ate, ran marathons, but everywhere I looked it wasn’t there and when I couldn’t find it. Many times I wanted my life to end because of the pain of self loathing that I had for myself. Then, I thought having a child; me becoming a mom would give me purpose, a reason to live. Well that was Chloe and it changed everything.
It was only until After Chloe that I realized I had to do the work – I had to grieve and say I want peace – I want calm. Every moment of everyday I miss Chloe and my parents- they are gone, they aren’t coming back – there are no do overs but what I have is the opportunity to help others – to hopefully shed light that you can and you will make it through. But you’ve got to dig deep inside. You’ve got to find that divinity within you – that love within yourself.
There is no quick fix – I lost my child – I lost my mom and dad but what they taught me is not to mess around for a second. I am here, I am rooting for you – you’ve got this!
The reality is only you can find your happy.
No one and nothing can be your everything. That peace and happiness will come if you stay the course, if you decide you deserve to be happy regardless of the tragedy and regardless of the sadness. You can and you will find yourself; what brings you happiness, what brings you joy. You will find yourself and you will find your happy. Keep going. Decide I want this life to be filled with peace and calm. You so deserve it. Try one thing, have one moment of happiness.
My realization has been very clear and that is regardless if I am happy or I am sad the world keeps going. As hard as the realization has been to make, it is the truest and it’s my decision.
What will be your decision?