Isn’t this a given? Shouldn’t it be? It may not feel like it is natural or as if you can feel your grief when you can, when you want. When you lose your loved one, when you lose your sense of what life was going to be and what your expectations of that life will be, it can not only devastate you but bring on various feelings of grief that will create multiple emotions and complicated feelings.
You must permit yourself to grieve, to feel the grief, to feel the feelings that come along with the grief.
Why you may not feel as if you are allowed to grieve. Why you may not be allowed to feel the grief after the loss.
You have to decide that your feelings are valid in order to feel through the grief- especially to live after loss.
How and what you do to feel the grief is yours, and it is up to you.
What and why you don’t feel as if you have permission to grieve, let’s go over:
We tend to believe that there is a measure of feelings and emotions.
We take on someone else’s guidelines of how grieving is supposed to go and be handled.
We don’t believe that we need to grieve to live.
We think we don’t need any support or community to process grief.
We think it is a “betrayal” to proceed in living.
Do any of the above phrases resonate with you? Can you relate to any of the above phrases? Let’s clear up any attachment to the above phrases.
It is your grief, and you must feel free to grieve.
Feel free to grieve.
When you ignore, avoid, and do not grieve, you avoid processing your grief – you are not living or grieving. If you believe that you aren’t worth grieving or living, we have to find your self-awareness and your self-worth ( there will be more in-depth blog posts coming on this soon). How do you do this? Start with asking yourself, how do I feel about grieving? What feeling does it invoke within? How do I think when the grief comes? How can I start to allow the grief to come? What is the worst that can happen? And do I have a support system?
Once you begin to answer these questions, you begin to gain self-awareness. You begin to start to understand that the more that you grieve, the more you can process your feelings, and you can get to the feelings that also allow you to live.
What can you do to allow yourself to incorporate grief and living and allowing all those feelings? Your balance. Your process. It is taking the courage; it is taking the time to know loss is final, and there isn’t anything you can do about this, but there is something you can do about feeling free to grieve, to explore and to live.
Once you allow yourself permission to feel grief, to live, and to allow yourself to feel; next is to let go of the expectation of what that is. Yup, let go of expectations. Allow yourself to navigate as you think it. And yes, I am aware we all have responsibilities, and we all have to function- but how much are you genuinely working?
Once you start to allow yourself to feel and to grieve, you’ll recognize the need for support; again, this goes back to self-awareness- ask yourself the following- what do I need to feel free to grieve? And what you answer- is what you need in terms of support.
Again, this is your singular experience. It is only you that can feel free to feel what you think. It is yours.
And when you own your process, you’ll own every part of it. And you’ll let go of any need to measure this process.
You’ll let go of what anyone perceives your grief process is, you’ll let go of what anyone tells you to feel or not to feel. You’ll let go of what you believe the expectation of your grief is.
Let’s get to feel free to feel grief and to feel living.
We tend to believe if we live, we are betraying our grief. And vice versa. If we grieve, we are revealing living. What if we can do both? What if we can choose to do both? Is it wrong to do both? It isn’t; there is no right or wrong answer to grieving and living.
If you grieve, you can live, and if you live you can grieve.
How? Feeling your feelings of grief. Feeling your emotions of living.
Take it as it comes.
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I would love to invite you to schedule a Reignite Your life Call
May you be wondering? What is that? It’s a a 30-minute call where we reignite your life after loss. On this call, we’re going to go over practical ways to be present while honoring your grief. What to do with all your feelings. And instantly, how to get self-aware and to function throughout your day!
Be sure to Book your call quick before my calendar books up by clicking HERE.