When you think about 2020, it will take your breath away- it may not be in a great way, it may not be in a way that you feel proud about or sure about. But I encourage you to have an open mind to allow yourself to take it a moment at a time, facing today. To start with knowing that this time sucks. I don’t have a better word for it. I don’t have a better way to put it. It just sucks, plain and simple.
What do you do with this time? How do you move forward? How do you move towards being able to grieve, live and live through a pandemic? How do you focus on facing today?
You don’t do any of that without first doing this…
Allow yourself to feel the sheer awfulness of the entire situation. Allow yourself to not to try to learn “ the lessons” or organize your spice drawers or learn a new language. Now that you have that out of the way. Decide that this is going to be a lot and scary and uncomfortable and uncertain. Now let’s move on to the second.
Moment by moment.
I’ve hated when anyone expresses moment by moment to me. I’ve hated when anyone tells me to feel what he or she wants me to feel versus allowing me to feel what I want to feel. Allowing me to not know what to feel. Allowing me to feel so darn scared and unsure. Allowing me to feel so afraid of all the loss and all let downs I see around me, and that my loved ones go through. What I see you face and go through.
Then I also recognize I also can see you moment by moment not only facing greatness but also the uncertainty and the sadness and the moments of amazing. Moments of laughter- that is when I encourage you to take all of this moment by moment. Only do what you can, as you can.
…meet yourself where you are. Yes that is right in front of you- it is so much and all you can do is to face only what is in front of you, only what you have to face moment by moment, facing what you can, when you can. Allow yourself to only meet yourself where you are.
I want you to check in with yourself daily. Ask yourself how you feel. Ask yourself what you need. Ask yourself who you need. And when you ask yourself and gauge how you are feeling – you become instantly self-aware. Stay there, and honor those feelings. Honor yourself at all times. Honor yourself to know that you are doing the best you can at this very moment. Self-care is not optional, it is for survival.
Define Self-care, what is self-care. What is it? How do you do this? Start with – the above, getting self-aware and then you ask yourself what is required? What do I need to function? What do I need to keep going? Then ask yourself, what do I need to do not only to feel better about myself but to feel good about myself as well?
And you may think… What does grieving and self-worth have to do with each other? Everything. Absolutely Everything. You must recognize that YOU MATTER!! You are required to put yourself first today prior to being able to show up for anyone else and prior to being able to show up for your grief and all the feelings that you have. And that is hard and difficult at first but then it becomes a requirement for you to live, for you to face today.
What are practical and doable ways you can face today, take it moment by moment.
- Live life
- Eat/drink water
- Listen to a self help book/ read a self-help book
- Walk for 30 minutes today
- Sit in the sun for at least 20 minutes
- Write down what you have gratitude for today
Start here, right where you are. Don’t compare yourself, don’t judge yourself, allow yourself, do not think that there is a magic cure to your grief or a way to get rid of the uncertainty during this time. There is a way to live and to grieve. There is a way to do both, to be both. You can, and as you move through your day and you face each moment. Know you are doing the best that you can. All my love and grace.
Please feel free to get support by joining my private Facebook Group by Clicking here
Schedule a Reigniting Your Life After Loss call with me to see how we can work together to find your living and grieving by not only facing today but also creating practical steps that you can bring with you as you face your grief journey by clicking here