I wrote this letter to myself, a month prior to beginning my journey with After Chloe, I encourage you to write a letter like this, I encourage you to find you again throughout your journey of grief.
It’s been quite a while, I felt it necessary to write you because I haven’t heard or seen you in quite some time. I know we have been dealing with the loss- and the loss of us. I no longer know you anymore, I look in the mirror and I see us but I don’t recognize me, I only see the shell of who I once was and I sure don’t see me….your face was always flushed and you were happy, Like the night before Christmas happy or I’m on the Price is Right happy..
You would always be about to laugh, you thought you could sing along to all the music you played. You are definitely not Rihanna or Beyoncé – but I must admit, I really miss hearing your no tune singing.. I really miss you.
I miss you eating without abandon and laughing until it hurt our belly.
I miss your excitement over the weekends and Christmas. I miss your instant squeal whenever you would hear mom or dads voice. I miss you as a daughter, as a friend, as a woman excited to see what is next.. I know he misses you as well. I think he’s probably given up… he kept thinking you would start being a wife again.. I know you thought your life would be different and I know you believed that you wouldn’t be all alone, but you’re not you have me and you have God…
I won’t though I have to believe that even though mom & dad & beautiful Chloe are gone.. We can find me. You, some stranger that cries and sleeps all the time- you were once my very best friend and I need you to get it together … I need you to remember that the love forever remains. I need you to remember that there’s a lot of life to live.
I’ll be here and I won’t go anywhere. Hurry back or at least introduce yourself so we can get to know each other.
With deepest gratitude and love,
Keep going, we will make it through!!!
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