We tend to connect grief and death as one but, honestly, grief is connected to loss – the actual part of losing what isn’t replaceable.
Loss is unimaginable and sometimes we can’t move through it- or we tend to believe that we “can get over it”.
Here’s what the grief society is… It is when you lose what you cannot replace and that is, in fact,t the first step to understanding that grief, once experienced becomes a part of you and your life.
Grief and everyday living
We grieve daily. Of course, death is the most apparent of being in the grief society but we also experience the loss of ourselves, a pet, a job, a relationship, a marriage, finances, youth, our children grow up, a standstill in beliefs and the list goes on and on.
Let’s start with this- death is the ultimate loss because of the finality? Right? Well most loss is final and the change happens. So, one of the three rules of grieving and being a member of the grief society is, “do not compare your loss with anyone else’s”. When you follow this grand rule then you will realize that your grief journey is singular and that will help you along, way more than you know.
So when you recognize what you are grieving you are immediately faced to live day after day. The difference is nothing, absolutely nothing is the same. How do you proceed with the grief and everyday living?
1). Take it as it comes, no expectations and realize that you can’t expect Life to be as it was.
2). Only do what you can do. Do not commit or demand yourself. Only do what you can do!
3). Believe that you are worth it (fake it if you have to). You’ve got to find a reason to live your life and find living after loss. This may take some time and some energy! Allow yourself to know that you are that reason. Or at least fake it until you make it.
What is the grief society ?
It is anyone and everyone whose experienced a loss. As a grief specialist, but more important as someone whose experience impossible loss, I’ve learned this:
When you face loss, no one has faced what you are facing. Yet, we are bound together by this unspoken pain, this understanding without words. You as someone whose faces loss and grief and pain on a daily basis understands that time doesn’t mean anything and that grief doesn’t go away, it changes. When you know this, you are a member of the grief society.
What are the rules?
1). Do not stall or deny your grief for anyone.
2). Do not compare your loss with anyone else’s loss.
3). Know that grief doesn’t go away with time. Time does nothing but the grief will ebb & flow with your growth.
As I mention these rules, it’s not to put you in line, it’s to align your grief journey. What does your grief journey look like today?
Are you living, truly living after loss?
Are you getting the support you need for your grief?
What can we do to help your grief to assist you in growing versus being stunted?
Are you ashamed of your grief?
Let’s answer these questions and together let’s find our way being on the grief society!
I know that it can be incredibly lonely but you aren’t alone. Over the next 5 weeks, I will blog more about the grief society, so stay subscribed. Also with each one of these blogs over the next 5 weeks, I want to provide you will some tools!! So come back every Wednesday!!!
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I hope this helps you through your journey. I am here if you need me!! Click here to email me
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In Love and Grace,