Today I sat for a long while – I was thinking about my life, where I’ve gone & now where I’m going today. I’ve always struggled with loss, abandonment, and grief. I’ve always been afraid of being alone. Yet what I realize is that I am the only one who can get on my knees and recognize that I have to find my peace within. Am I the only one though that cries daily? Am I the only one who can’t understand how the world keeps turning and I instead struggle to barely breathe most days?
Finding Your Way
Yup only you along with God can find your way. The loss has happened and well the reality is – I can give you many tricks & tips but truthfully, you must find your way. What does that look like, you may be asking? It looks like what you want it to look like, you have to choose to decide to find your way.
The decision has to have action steps – whether that’s showering or taking a walk – it’s up to you to start to find your way.
Mindset and Grief
Many times we think that because we are feeling distraught and sad – that we cannot think straight. I believe that this is the fog of grief. When I first lost my parents and my baby (all at different times) I felt constant sadness and despair. But shocked and alone, my emotions were all over and I couldn’t even think straight, much less have a clear mindset. Instead, what I learned to do was take it a second at a time, and create a daily list of only three things to focus on. I did not have the liberty of stopping my life – as I had my mother and Chloe’s Dad to think of. It took me a long, long time to understand that I had to stay centered on the clarity of knowing that my mindset and my faith is what is going to get me through.
What is “through”?
Well after starting After Chloe I am very clear that I am not the only one!!!! Instead, I recognize that through is different for everyone. As a Grief Specialist my definition of “through” is centering yourself to create a life – not existing but living life to your definition of the fullest. Personally, it’s taken me a lot of tries at “through”. I have wasted years on trying to find through – this past year I realized that through is a process but if I choose living. I have moments of happiness, joy, love and deep breaths. I am blessed beyond belief but it’s not the way I thought it was going to be… that’s what I think through is!!!
We all grieve differently but everyone – absolutely everyone will grieve!! But we are not alone – we are not the only ones – we are together.
I would love for you to check out the Private After Chloe Facebook Group.
Check out my blog post from Monday click here to read.
Love and Grace,