What a word. Recently I’ve become very aware of changes. “Why” you may ask? Well truthfully I’ve looked around and I have a friend that’s moving, I also have a friend that has lost her job of 13 years and most of all a lot is changing in my own life. It’s difficult, it’s exhilarating, it’s scary and most important there is nothing I can do to stop change. In fact, there is nothing anyone can do to prevent change …
Change is inevitable, it’s necessary and nothing, no person, no situation can stay the same. You must allow change to happen. But to answer the why is that change (a lot like grief) happens every moment of every day.
How to Cope with Change
You must begin with an open heart. Many times when I provide content it’s questioned as to why I state to stay open to grief. Yet I recognize that change isn’t the loss and again in unison with grief, it will happen with or without you. If your life isn’t the way it was at the beginning of the year from location to job title or lack of job title or to physical appearance to relationships – and so many other scenarios, this means that you are experiencing change. The painful process of change – so to answer the question of how to cope with change – has three requirements:
- Believe it’s going to be ok, it may not be ok at this very second but write or state daily (or as many times as you need to reaffirm) “it’s going to be ok”. AKA Faith.
- Take it one moment at a time. We tend to believe that we have to have all the answers and know or in many instances control what’s going to happen- but all you can control is yourself- all you can control is this very moment. All you can do is face this moment – don’t go to yesterday or tomorrow- just face this very moment.
- Be gentle and kind to yourself: Yup – this is simple and very difficult! Take the time and effort to be kind to yourself. Through the process of loss and change, you will feel overwhelmed – be kind to yourself – hydrate -cry and feel but do it with gentleness and kindness in all that you do.
Loss and Change
All change is loss and all loss is change. Now that we understand this – it still will feel as if you cannot go forward. It will feel like you will feel pain and suffering because of the loss/change. And loss is permanent- it won’t ever be the same, but in addition you can and you will absolutely find your way!!
So once you are able to understand you cannot prevent loss/change you can begin to process your feelings and get on your way through your grief.
And this leads me to the point – we grieve change, we grieve loss and that no matter what no one is ever ready for change/loss. And you must take it as it comes and give yourself a chance to recognize that whatever change you are facing, you will grieve and process it. You will have setbacks – you will have impossible days – but you will find your way and then change will happen again. It’s not to lessen the changes or losses but it’s to find your perspective to get through the loss.