Wow, we made it through Thanksgiving. Am I supposed to voice that? I get scared to even voice this actually.
I think as someone who helps others through grief as a tool and resource and offers alternative tools and resources – am I allowed to State this? Well I am.
The holidays are hard. I have been anxiety ridden and just sad…very sad. Then I realized that I am the only one who can help myself or get the help that I need.
I decided I wanted thanksgiving so I made it. I decided that I wanted to declutter over the holiday. So I did it! I decided that I choose to live, not just exist but to be alive and live life to the fullest extent that I can. So this leads me to a problem that many of us have through grief. We believe that (falsely) there’s a beginning and an end. This just isn’t true! In fact, it’s the opposite- we will find ourselves asking –“Where do I go from here”?
Let me suggest this…
You should know and if you don’t, allow me to remind you- your grief has no end, it will fluctuate. It will be easier on some days and harder on other days. It may sometimes feel impossible to get through and other days you will think, I’ve got this. The reality is where you go or don’t go – it is your choice. Please don’t be offended – but as I struggled through my anxiety this past weekend no one could/can save me but me. Yet, I can reach out to those who I know have the guidance, suggestions, and solutions to find the best way to navigate through my grief journey.
You may be thinking…
I’ve been grieving what feels like forever.
I don’t know how to go forward.
I ache inside for what/who I’ve lost.
I can’t seem to get through my day without crying or breaking down
I feel numb and disconnected.
Where do I go from here??
Well, all of the above and so much more are normal feelings/thoughts for grief on a daily basis.
Understand that you are absolutely entitled to feel what you feel!!!!!
Where you go from here – is to feel what you feel but as long as you decide to be alive. Don’t just exist – don’t give up – don’t waste your life!! Decide that yes you will grieve all your days and that the grief is a part of you – but it’s not you!!! Don’t allow grief to overpower you.
Stay with me. We cannot be defined by our grief but only by the love that remains. We are defined by processing the grief.
You may ask – how?
Very gently and it means getting very self-aware. It means recognizing what works and what doesn’t. It means honoring who/what has been lost by living your life to the happiest capacity. Enjoy your life!
Becoming self-aware is where you begin: Ask yourself…
What makes me happy?
What’s a trigger for my loss?
What do I enjoy doing?
Am I practicing self-care?
Start with these 5 questions on Wednesday- I’ll post the next step to take.
I would love to invite you to first access to my Brand New Podcast – Living After Loss with After Chloe!! Click here to get on the waitlist!!!!
Join the Private After Chloe Facebook Group by clicking here for support and finding your way through Loss!
Have you checked out my latest blog post on Anxiety and Grief? Click here to read