And So It Is…

And So It Is…featured

What is …. just is … the incredibly difficulty is finding the peace in what is versus going back to what was- After Chloe

A few days ago I wrote a post called The Answer in succession to the post Where do I go from here?.  If you want to read them click here for the first post and click here for the second post.

What I want to achieve in today’s post is after you’ve answered the questions I asked you to ask yourself … what should you do now?

Live.   No really – you’ve got to decide that you want to live. Now you may believe that this is impossible. You’ve gone through a loss or maybe more than one loss, this has to be devastating and you may believe as if you can’t go forward.  But you can and you will.

I want you to get really honest with yourself and ask- can you or will you decide that you are worth living?  Once you make the decision – you are 50% there.

Now here is where the alignment comes:

  1. To decide that you spend all of your time alone.  What can you do to socialize?

    It doesn’t mean that it’s not ok to be alone but you do have to socialize. You do have to decide that you want to feed those social instincts by having interactions with other humans – if that’s volunteering – start with animals.  True story… Chloe’s Dad found my pitbull Brother and he was a 6 week old puppy. He couldn’t even take care of himself yet.  He was my baby and it was so therapeutic to have to care for him and teach him about life.  I am forever grateful for the blessing of my puppy dog but at the time – I didn’t want a dog. I didn’t even want to breathe much less have to take care of something but truthfully it was very significant in my journey of grieving.

    Try to create heart interactions with animals, with the elderly or the homeless – it will quickly help you gain perspective.

Who do you talk to?

Whether it’s a therapist or a good friend, find someone that you want to connect with on a regular basis to verbally purge. Or even write a letter – come back to it at a later time.  But this creates living to verbalize.

What are you doing for yourself?

Exactly.  Did you realize the answer was “nothing”?  You’ve got to make yourself, the number one priority.  You can’t put yourself aside. It’s so important to have respect for yourself – enough to drink water, eat right, sleep and relax.  It’s a necessity to processing your grief!!  Do one thing a day for yourself- set it in your calendar. Take the time to care for yourself daily!

I know that these things may seem nonsensical- they may seem impossible but only you can decide to live. And here’s the horrible alternative. Even if you don’t live, unfortunately, it cannot take away the loss and I’m so very sorry for that! I’m so sorry that’s happened to you. But you are worth creating a way to live. So many times we will feel this unimaginable grief and sadness but this isn’t a reason not to live.  There’s guilt and I have felt almost an avoidance to living but that should not be. Choose to live.

Sending you love and grace,

I would love for you to join the Private After Chloe’s Facebook Group for extra support by clicking here

I would love to invite you to first access to my Brand New Podcast – Living After Loss with After Chloe!!  Click here to get on the waitlist!!!!

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