Well Hello Lovely One: How are you doing?? How are you feeling?? Most importantly, how is your grief going? Yup, I did I just asked how your grieving is going… Why? You may wonder…Well, the truth is unless you grieve- unless you choose to process your grief and take care of what you need to take care of, you won’t ever live. Yes, you will exist but not truly live the life you deserve.
The reality is this no one can grieve for you but there can be accountability for your grieving process. We tend to feel alone and as if no one can understand our grieving process and that’s true and false. True: grieving is a very lonely process and no one feels what you feel, or can truly understand what you are going through. False: you aren’t alone, but it’s about finding the right support systems – through a support group, therapy, counseling, a book, a loved one that can listen, and if you can find all the above then you are very blessed.
But let’s get back to the title:
Accountability- is really finding the ability to be accountable to process your feelings of grief. Now many get time and accountability confused. I am suggesting that you be certain to do versus to time your grief. I do not believe that grief and time have any commonality or the ability to collaborate!
Grief – is a singular process, it’s up to you to find what works for you. There’s no right or wrong, only getting through. You must decide to live a life worthy of living.
The decision of how to proceed, in my humble opinion, needs to be limited to moment to moment. It does not serve anyone – to think that you should ever “get over” your grief but instead you learn to live with your grief- living being what you need to be accountable for!!!
How can I be accountable for my grief?
I think that accountability comes when you find someone who can give you support. I think that accountability comes when you are made to feel supported.
How is there accountability for grief?
When loss happens, it changes everything – you specifically. In order to proceed to find life again, you have to process the loss and the waves of grief that will always come. It’s easy to numb, avoid, pretend and do whatever you can to refuse to process the grief. The need for accountability comes for you to have the responsibility to grieve. Personally, when my baby Chloe died – I stopped functioning and I no longer engaged with my stepchildren. This created a lot of issues (which I’ll be sharing more of in upcoming blog posts) and I refused the accountability of being there for my step kids. But for many parents when they face loss they still have to show up for their children. Yet, in many scenarios this creates accountability.
You may wonder, how can I be accountable?
Start where you are…find those that will support you. It may not be with those who are close to you. Try a support group in person or online. Find someone to talk to. Find a book to read to help you with your specific grief. Journal- write it down daily.
Just like weight loss – it’s a journey, it’s a lifestyle change and it’s something you consciously have to do on a daily basis.
Decide today you are going to fund accountability.
I would love to invite you to After Chloe’s Private Facebook Group for online support!!! Click here
For the month of January, I would love to offer you a Free (yup, For Free) 30-minute call – click here to schedule!!!
I’m sending you
Love & Grace…