This question is the most asked in my community- “How do I live after loss?”
This is a reasonable and most all understandable question … truthfully there is no quick solution. Instead, I would encourage you to, first of all, take a deep, deep breath. And know that we will get you to find your life after loss.
I want to suggest 3 perspectives for you to take on, in order to find yourself after loss!!! So let’s get started…
1. Do not compare or keep time.
Yes, I am serious- you’ll get on social media and you believe that you should be like they are with their grief journeys … this isn’t true .. it’s a singular process that isn’t going to change.. the loss has happened and it’s up to you to figure out what is the best way for you to proceed.
Time, isn’t relevant in Loss .. it’s not important .. it’s not meant for you to figure out.. today or tomorrow or the next day so time can’t help you in this case but although time doesn’t ease… it will change the grief .. sometimes it’ll be less and many times it’ll be more. It’s your journey though.
2. Look at your worth.
Now, this isn’t fluff, it’s truth. You have to ensure that you take the time to look at yourself and remember your worth. If you don’t think you aren’t worth it.. you won’t make it through. Period. You have to try … you have to decide- “I am worth this journey of realization and no one can do this for me … I must do this for myself”.
For me, I didn’t know who I was or who I even wanted to be. I had to decide to look at myself and figure out my own worth. It’s my choice to decide and to figure out where I want to be.
3. Don’t give up
I have given up and it’s because I didn’t think I could survive the loss of my parents and my baby daughter Chloe. I gave up each day, wanting to sleep all the time or just avoid all the challenges that I faced. Then I realized that I needed to start again, I was miserable and I felt like a fish out of water. Today I still struggle with accepting my life the way it is. I struggle to keep going. But here is what I know- life will go on with or without me.. I had to decide to live my life to the fullest that I can. I started to live slowly and I have setbacks but my goal every day is to not give up. I decide that I’m going to try and many times I have to stop and start again but overall it’s imperative that I don’t give up on myself. I know that I am meant for life and living. And it’s hard and it hurts to live without those we love .. but the love is still there- it still remains.
Start with these 3 perspectives and it will help you, it really will but you’ve got to do the work and also find the best ways for you to do the work of grieving.
In case you missed it, check out my latest blog post on the 7th year of my daughter Chloe’s passing by clicking here
I would love to support you, I am giving 30-minute Zoom sessions for the month of February, you get to keep the recording and you can click here to schedule for the month of February (Still time)
Also, come get support by joining After Chloe’s Private Facebook Group by clicking here